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Why Singles are Single: 92 Reasons for Staying Single!

  • Publish date: Friday، 11 November 2022 Last update: Saturday، 11 November 2023
Why Singles are Single: 92 Reasons for Staying Single!

study about Singles’ Reasons for Being Single, done by the National Library of Medicine, has investigated the reasons for singlehood by asking singles themselves. And in this article, we will summarize the reasons that 648 American singles mentioned it, and the researchers classified the 92 reasons into 18 broad factors and four general domains. 

Why Men Don't Want to be in a Relationship?

According to the study, men were more likely than women to indicate that they are single in order to: 

  • Be free to flirt around. 

  • Do what they want.  

  • They are not into family making.  

Why Women Don't Want to be in a Relationship?

According to the study, women were more likely to indicate that they are single in order to: 

  • Avoid getting hurt.  

  • They had bad experiences from previous relationships. 

  • They have considered themselves not to be desirable as mates. 

  • Afraid of change 

Why Young People Don't Want to be in a Relationship?

According to the study, younger people were more likely to indicate that they are single because: 

  • They have poor flirting skills. 

  • They don’t see themselves as desirable mates. 

  • They don’t like commitment. 

  • They have different life-priorities.  

Why Older People Don't Want to be in a Relationship?

According to the study, older people were more likely to indicate that they are single in order to: 

  • Be free to do what they want.  

  • They had bad experiences from previous relationships. 

  • They have issues such as poor health that has kept them back. 

Why Singles Are Single? 

Three main reasons have been proposed to explain why individuals who are single are single:  

  • Because under certain circumstances being single can increase fitness. 

  • Because of the evolutionary mismatch between ancestral and modern conditions. 

  • Because of different constraints, some people may be less effective in participating in the mating market. 

92 Reasons for Staying Single 

According to a study about Singles’ Reasons for Being Single done by the National Library of Medicine, below are 92 reasons why singles are singles. Note that reasons are answered by a sample of 648 American singles:    

Low capacity for courtship 

  1. Low capacity for courtship 

  1. I am not good at flirting 

  1. I am shy  

  1. I am very introverted 

  1. I am terrible at picking up on signals 

  1. I am socially awkward 

  1. I get high anxiety around women/men 

  1. I do not know how to start a relationship 

  1. I do not feel confident 

  1. I fear rejection  

  1. I am a boring individual  

  1. I do not make any effort or make any moves to attract a potential partner 

  1. I am not good at relationships 

  1. I have no avenues for meeting available men/women 

  1. I am not a desirable mate 

  1. I am not good looking 

  1. Because of my weight 

  1. I have not achieved much in life, and I do not think I am attractive as a mate 

  1. I believe that nobody wants to be with me 

  1. My financial situation prevents me from having a relationship 

  1. I fear that my negative aspects will be revealed 

  1. I experience sexual difficulties 

  1. I am not doing very well in the sexual domain 

  1. Commitment scares me \ I do not like commitment 

  1. Love scares me 

  1. Change scares me 

  1. I have not accumulated enough experiences to commit to a relationship 

  1. I have a health/disability problem 

  1. I have psychological problems 

  1. I am going through a period of intense stress and anxiety 

Freedom 

  1. I want to be free to do whatever I want 

  1. I want to be able to go wherever I want without needing to answer to anyone 

  1. I don't want to have to answer anyone about what I am doing 

  1. I do not tolerate restrictions  

  1. I want to be able to be myself 

  1. I want to be free to chase my own goals 

  1. I like to have my own space 

  1. I want to not feel under pressure 

  1. I am not willing to make compromises and concessions 

  1. I want to have fewer obligations  

  1. I want to avoid the responsibilities that a relationship entails  

  1. I want to have more choices 

  1. I want to be able to dress the way I want without having to answer anyone 

  1. I want to avoid conflict 

  1. I prefer to be alone \ I feel that I need some time alone 

  1. I got used to being alone  

  1. I am not the family type \ I do not want to have a family  

  1. I believe that being in a relationship will not make me happier than I am right now 

  1. I do not feel the emotional need to start a relationship  

  1. I have different priorities 

  1. I want to focus on my career 

  1. I do not have enough time to devote to a relationship 

  1. I worry that a relationship is going to be damaging for my career 

  1. I do not feel ready to start a relationship  

  1. I believe that I am too old to start a relationship 

  1. I want to spend more time with my friends 

  1. I want to have more time to spend with my friends  

  1. I do not want to be alienated from my friends 

  1. I am doing well right now 

  1. I want to be free to flirt around 

  1. I want to be able to have many casual relationships  

  1. I want to have a freer sexual life 

  1. I want to be free to flirt with whoever I want  

  1. I want to be able to go out more often 

  1. I want to not get bored 

Constraints from previous relationships 

  1. I want to devote my attention to my children 

  1. I have children from a previous relationship 

  1. I have not gotten over my previous relationship 

  1. I recently broke up 

  1. I am grieving 

  1. I fear I will get hurt \ I am afraid that I will get hurt again  

  1. I am afraid that my partner will cheat on me 

  1. I am afraid that my partner will stop loving me 

  1. I am afraid that the relationship will fail 

  1. I am afraid that what I will give to the relationship will be wasted 

  1. I am afraid that I will be disappointed 

  1. I do not trust men/women 

  1. I do not trust easily 

  1. Bad experiences from previous relationships 

  1. I would not have to worry about where my partner is and what he/she is doing 

  1. I want to avoid jealousy 

  1. I am attracted to the wrong men/women 

  1. I had many failures and I have given up trying 

  1. I am too picky 

  1. I cannot find someone interesting 

  1. I cannot find the right one 

Personal constraints 

  1. Because of my addictions (alcohol, drugs etc.) 

  1. Because of my sexual orientation 

  1. I need some time to decide about my sexual orientation 

  1. My relationship may not be socially acceptable 

  1. I cannot have children  

  1. I move often so it is not easy to keep a relationship 

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